A part of my soul in every place I go

Moving out involves a lot of work. You have to ensure that all the bills are settled, all accounts are closed and all things are properly packed. But what do you do with all the emotions which build up as you near the date of moving? The things you did, the things you almost did and the things you wish you did.
When you're busy taking life for granted, these things do not matter. You pass by the river with a bored glance at the ferries plying by. As the D-Day gets nearer, you stop and notice the waves created by the ferry. You notice the people inside desperately trying to capture all the sights they can into their cameras. As you stand there, leaning against the railing a cool breeze caresses your face and you count your blessings to have experienced this wonderful moment.
As you start counting the number of days backward, you start noticing these smaller things better. It is as if all of your senses are heightened and you want to capture everything before its too late. Just like the people on the ferry.
As I move out, I leave a part of my soul behind. I can never have that piece back, but I feel thankful to the city for taking that slice. Farewell I say and hope to come back soon. And when I do, I will be whole again.

Violence is Banal

"Remember, remember the 5th of November, the gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot."
And so begins one of the most intellectually/emotionally moving movies I have ever seen. In the movie the protagonist is the lone dissenting voice in a country of suppressed people. People are afraid of protesting and are too involved in their everyday activities to concentrate on the task of supervising the executive. The protagonist devises an elaborate and shocking way to express the collective frustration of the society. He decides to establish a symbol so potent and explicit that it doesn't die easily. 
His romantic interest who plays the calming force to his rebellion tells him, "if anybody does show up you can be bloody sure that Creedy will blackbag every one of them" 
The protagonist pauses for a moment and replies, "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."
This is by far the most powerful message portrayed in the film. It forces you to sit up and ask yourself, is this really true? Is this is what being practised in my country? Is my goverment really afraid of its people? If there is an iota of doubt in answering the above question then the correct answer is NO.

What is happening in India is a watered down version of the events shown in the movie. Even though the present might not be as extreme as in the movie, who is to say anything about the future? We live in a country where blood, honour, respect, sacrifice are just words to be uttered to hide the obvious impotency within. Anywhere you look on the television, whatever you decide to read on the newspaper the vivid display of desperate craving is abundant. The pain of the suffering has become so banal that it has ceased to shock anymore. It takes the depravity of the brutal rape of a young woman with rusted iron rods to make the nation sit up and take notice. Like drug addicts numbed by the daily dose of barbiturates,  it takes a really big dose of insanity to deliver that kick. What has happened to a nation brought up on a unrelenting diet of values and culture that needs a hyperbole to grab it's attention? 
The real reason might be that nothing has really changed. In a society used to being ruled over, freedom meant it had to think for itself. And where does a society sculpted by borrowed ideology find the wherewithal to think for itself? If only we knew.

The dogma of Doing what you Love

'Doing what you love' has almost become an ideology. That there are so many articles and books published on this subject alone shows that people think about this more than actually practicing it.
Why is that? Why is it so difficult for people to realize on their own that what they're doing right now might not be the activity which they're best suited to do? Why do so many of us need an external force to make us realize the truth which is there at the forefront of our mind all the time? The reason might be the way of phrasing the thought itself.
"DOING" what you "LOVE"
When you force a verb to interact with an abstract noun it would more often than not lead to the irresistible force paradox.
Let us break down this simple phrase into parts to understand its meaning and finally attempt to solve it.

Understanding what you Love
How do you define Love? Is it a feeling, an emotion, a state of mind, perception or thought process?
It might be a process of filling the blanks. It might be also coveting what you don't have.
Human beings are perpetually unsatisfied. For every quality that one has, there are more than one which he would like to have. And they vary greatly among people. Human beings are complex, calculating creatures who instinctively know what they want. But the culture of suppression is such that they don't allow themselves to bring their wants to the surface. All of us are on an eternal quest to complete ourselves. We understand instinctively that this quest is not a solo ride and can be successful only if we are somehow able to find the element that is missing from within. It might be that we are all binary creatures and what doesn't exist within us can never be developed. We need that other person who has the missing element to join us for the ride.
When two people fall in Love, what happens exactly?
We meet so many people everyday and while we are going through our daily motions, internally an insane algorithm runs in the background plotting checks and crosses. When the number of checks is higher than the crosses, something clicks. The greasy old machine shakes itself and comes alive;  the clogs crash clumsily against each other trying to understand each others' rhythm and once they're all in sync, the magic unfolds. People who say Love happens at first sight are ignorant. You're forever searching for Love but understand you've got it only when you see the result. But if there were no process, there wont be any result to speak of. The process is what ensures that you fall in Love. The forever searching for Love is what culminates in the bliss you experience. Simple mathematics suggests that the more arrows you shoot, the probability of hitting the target increases. But the focus should be on shooting the arrows itself rather than hitting the target. The result will take care of itself.
People spend so much of their time in trying to decide what they want to do in their life. It would be fair to say that a big factor in their coming to a conclusion is satisfying their Ego. People decide they want to be an Actor as they love putting on a show. Putting on a show is the result, do they actually enjoy the preparation that goes into each role? The understanding the role, doing the necessary research, the attempt to know so much about the character that when they're on stage, they're not "acting" instead they're doing what comes to them naturally when they think of the character. If they do this activity well, being an actor would be a cake walk. The result would be they put on a good show each time and this brings in more opportunities. Not only doing it once but having the inclination to do the preparation again and again and again irrespective of how good you are defines if you actually Love what you do. You should Love the process of becoming an Actor to be a successful Actor. If you dont Love the process, its fair to say the probability of success will be very low. Success is a great motivation as it targets the most basic of a human being's instincts.
If you think you want to be a Writer, you need to enjoy the almost chronic aspect of researching, reading and learning.
Same goes for jobs. If you think you Love sales, you need to enjoy the process of selling. Meeting new people, travelling to new places, understanding their cultures, understand the one thing that motivates the decision maker, adapting your communication each and every time. If you enjoy the process, you find ways of constantly doing it better and the result would be great sales each time and great success each time. Great Success ensures that you love what you're doing and motivates you to do even better.


Finding what you Love
Once you understand what you Love, finding what you Love is a bit easier. In a day you go through maybe a 100 activities. The first step is to maintain a log book. Jot down the time you spend in doing each activity. Ensure that these activities are self originated. Don't note down the things which you are being asked to do. Maintain the log book for a week. At the end of the week, you will have a rough idea of where you spent the maximum time. The next week, spend more time on doing the top three activities identified. A new log will help you to shortlist the activity which you enjoy doing the most. People are rarely honest with themselves. To eliminate any false bias, ask a person who knows you closely to maintain such a log about you and share their thoughts. You'll be surprised at how accurate this might be.

The key is to keep trying. Some people spend their entire lives trying to find the person that they love. But they never stop trying. The more you try, the more the chances of success. Trying out different things helps you to narrow down your area of interest better. Once you find the thing that really keeps you on your feet, don't be disappointed if you wont be able to take that up as a career. Many of us would realize that we Love Cricket and anything associated with it. Many more would agree that it is not possible to take up a career in Cricket now. But it is not necessary to be a player to be involved. There are many more avenues open which keeps you close to sport. And getting involved in most of them will be better than hitting the keyboards at an IT Sweatshop for 9 hours a day/ 5 days a week,

Introspect and Never lose hope. Dont get lost in the dogma of hopelessness and compromise for being a clog in the wheel. At the same time, being unorthodox just for the sake of it might not be the wisest thing to do.
Society would like you to lose all originality but you're an individual.
What you Love can only be identified by you.
Its not easy but its worth it.

Of Jain Pizzas and Love-cum-Arranged Marriage - I

Mahatma Gandhi undertook the Dandhi march to protest the tax on Salt, an essential commodity. He did manage to make the British sit up and notice that there is a threat to their monarchy in the form of a scantily clad monk. What the British couldn't understand was his unique idea of protesting without violence. For them it was a strange way to protest. Saying that I don't agree to your tax without being vocal about it was akin to protesting without actually protesting. For Indians however, this was a very natural way of reacting to circumstances. "We don't agree to you boss, but we do not really want you to know that we do not agree." The wholesome acceptance of the masses of the idea of protest without violence and that in an age without any distributed medium of communication, showed that everyone was completely tuned in to the idea. Gandhi spoke to the basest of our instincts. An instinct that had evolved over time. An instinct that was so widely present that it made all of us united in our action. Or inaction as the case here. This was the instinct born over a period of time. A period of subjugation to the ruling monarchs without wanting to be so. It was the instinct of hypocrisy. Gandhi knew that there were only 2 ways to generate the loyalty of the masses. You either crack the whip or you give them the consent to express their discontent without actually seeming to do so. For the masses receiving the consent was very important. In their subconscious a war waged between the need to revolt against the subjugation and the need to suppress the former need. For them receiving the consent was very important. 'I did what you wanted me to, it was not really my original idea' was what they were saying to Gandhi. 'I didn't really revolt and you can't punish me for something I didn't do.' was what they were saying to the British. This was ultimately the downfall of our colonial masters. Unused to the idea that one+one can be more/less than two depending upon the circumstances, they tried all the wrong means to enforce order and failed each time. We are Indians boss, we don't like you ruling over us. But its not that we don't want you to rule over us, we are not saying that. Its just that we don't want you to be ruling us.
Being able to "appear" to do something without actually doing it is an art mastered by us over timeless age. Hindu mythology sings praises of Gandhari who covered her eyes and refused to see the things which couldn't be seen by her blind husband. She could see but she couldn't really see. Kunti couldn't accept Karna as he was a bastard child. She couldn't see him suffering but she can't do anything. I mean come on dude what with you being an illegal child and all I can't really admit to be your mother. But I also can't see you suffering with indignities so why don't you just go away. Drona wouldn't accept Eklavya as his pupil as he was a shudra. But when he finally managed to be a better archer than Arjuna, Drona asked him to sacrifice his thumb. And Eklavya being the true Indian that he was, gladly gave the sacrifice. So what if I can't shoot which has been my life long passion, I will gladly cut off my thumb and give it you as you totally rock Mr Drona!
Closer to earth, Gandhi didn't want Shaheed Bhagat Singh to be hanged but he kept quiet as he couldn't really do anything. See oh Angrez sahib I am being a good Indian. Remember it the next time I go on a hypocritical strike against your tyrannical rule! But it won't really be a strike as I am not doing anything to stop you from doing what you are doing. I am just appealing to your nature of being a good human being!

Quit India! But leave your western ideologies behind.

Long Time

Have been busy lately debating the philosophy of corruption and greed with myself. Will be posting my thoughts soon on the complicated entanglement of the human emotions and the human mind. Usually the mind thinks and the heart feels but very often the mind feels and the heart starts thinking. This is when the whirlpool starts churning. Watch this space!

The Alpha Male

In a jungle, the alpha male is the strongest of the lions. Its supposed to be the king of the jungle and the best amongst all other competitors. No wonder, the life expectation of the strongest lions is so short. As soon as it becomes the leader of the pack, a constant battle resumes to maintain the position for as long as possible. It is interesting to note that the alpha male is either banished or killed soon after it loses the crown. Is it otherwise with humans? I somehow feel it is worse with us.
Constant competition to prove ourselves has made us forget who we really are. If you think you're not good enough in something you strive and strive and strive to earn respect which should rightfully be yours. But is there any worth of this respect? I would rather not have to prove my material worth to earn this respect. I would be happy with the people who respect me for who I am and what I am. The state of my vulnerability and my ability to cope with the same shouldn't be a subject of public inspection or a judging criteria of my ability.

Problem In Heaven - IV (The Finale)

"I didn't understand my lord, what could be more paradoxical than life and death?"

"In fact Chitra, nothing could be more metaphorical than life and death. What makes a life complete is death. If there were no forecast of a closure in the future, no human would ever value his life. Death is just a waterhole for the body to rest and move forward to the next journey. Have you ever asked yourself what the purpose of a human life is? The purpose is to experience. The soul wants to experience everything that it can in the world. The human body is just a vessel that carries the soul around. Everything that happens to the human is because the soul wants to experience those things. Once it feels that it has gained the maximum that it can from the body, the soul leaves to find a new home for itself. The body dies of wear and tear and is awarded a place in heaven or hell on the basis of the assistance that it has provided its soul."

Chitragupta was fascinated but also appalled, "But lord this is so tragic, doesn't the body have any say in what it goes through? What if it doesn't want to experience something that the soul wants it to? Can't it say no?"

Brahma leaned forward, "If it says no, then the soul makes it take its own life and leaves the body. The humans have a fancy word for it, suicide. This is the final act in the play for the soul. Once its vessel takes its own life, it can never have another home again. It wanders in eternity in Yama's corridors until he finds some work for it to do. And the body is laid to rest for ever in our wineyards."

Brahma ran a hand through his beard, "So you see Chitra, death completes life. There won't be life if there were no death. In fact, life is meant to represent the combined experience that a human goes through during his earthly experience and later his experiences after the loss of his earthly form. Life includes death Chitra and so does Death include Life. They are one and the same, two sides of the same coin, metaphors to each other. There has to be a balance among yin and yang, right and wrong at all times. Just foresee this, if everything in this world were perfect, if there were no sorrow in this world, would anyone value happiness? If there were no grief, would anyone value mirth? If there were no death, would anyone value life? No son, for anyone to value something good it is necessary that he is exposed to something equally bad. That is why you see the change in our operations Chitra. Every once in a while we have to go through a cleaning mechanism or rather a corporate makeover. We gradually change our method of pitching and move more and more towards the practices adopted by Hell. Hell does the same too. It also starts pitching for people with higher CDS."

"When do we revert to our old practices then my lord?" Chitragupta thought he knew the answer but wanted the lord to confirm his worst suspicions.

Brahma got up and walked around the table and touched Chitra's shoulder, "Any metamorphosis is not complete till it completely transitions positives into negatives and vice-versa. This trend will not stop till Heaven, India becomes Hell, India and vice-versa."

Chitragupta dropped his head and slumped in his seat disappointed. Is this what i've worked for? To facilitate the transition of Heaven into Hell?

"Understand this Chitra that Heaven and Hell are just concepts that the common mind can't grasp. To function effectively, there cannot be only goodness or only wickedness. There should be an optimum mix of both. While today we are moving towards being a more materialistic organization, that is only to compensate for the various idealistic and moralistic population we have gathered over the years. For them to value their beliefs it is important that they are challenged. Similarly for Hell to function effectively, it should have an influx of people with high CDS. For over 4000 years we have functioned with the privilege of being the organisation that reaps the highest social profit, now its time to challenge those profits that we've accumulated. Its time to make the people realise the importance of being good. For anything to be complete, it is imperative that it runs the complete circle. Just like death does to life, Hell completes Heaven. And in this world of pradoxical metaphors where change is constant, is it any surprise that Heaven and Hell are changing places? After all, aren't Heaven and Hell more complementary than paradoxes too?"

The End? Please leave your comments...