Of Jain Pizzas and Love-cum-Arranged Marriage - I

Mahatma Gandhi undertook the Dandhi march to protest the tax on Salt, an essential commodity. He did manage to make the British sit up and notice that there is a threat to their monarchy in the form of a scantily clad monk. What the British couldn't understand was his unique idea of protesting without violence. For them it was a strange way to protest. Saying that I don't agree to your tax without being vocal about it was akin to protesting without actually protesting. For Indians however, this was a very natural way of reacting to circumstances. "We don't agree to you boss, but we do not really want you to know that we do not agree." The wholesome acceptance of the masses of the idea of protest without violence and that in an age without any distributed medium of communication, showed that everyone was completely tuned in to the idea. Gandhi spoke to the basest of our instincts. An instinct that had evolved over time. An instinct that was so widely present that it made all of us united in our action. Or inaction as the case here. This was the instinct born over a period of time. A period of subjugation to the ruling monarchs without wanting to be so. It was the instinct of hypocrisy. Gandhi knew that there were only 2 ways to generate the loyalty of the masses. You either crack the whip or you give them the consent to express their discontent without actually seeming to do so. For the masses receiving the consent was very important. In their subconscious a war waged between the need to revolt against the subjugation and the need to suppress the former need. For them receiving the consent was very important. 'I did what you wanted me to, it was not really my original idea' was what they were saying to Gandhi. 'I didn't really revolt and you can't punish me for something I didn't do.' was what they were saying to the British. This was ultimately the downfall of our colonial masters. Unused to the idea that one+one can be more/less than two depending upon the circumstances, they tried all the wrong means to enforce order and failed each time. We are Indians boss, we don't like you ruling over us. But its not that we don't want you to rule over us, we are not saying that. Its just that we don't want you to be ruling us.
Being able to "appear" to do something without actually doing it is an art mastered by us over timeless age. Hindu mythology sings praises of Gandhari who covered her eyes and refused to see the things which couldn't be seen by her blind husband. She could see but she couldn't really see. Kunti couldn't accept Karna as he was a bastard child. She couldn't see him suffering but she can't do anything. I mean come on dude what with you being an illegal child and all I can't really admit to be your mother. But I also can't see you suffering with indignities so why don't you just go away. Drona wouldn't accept Eklavya as his pupil as he was a shudra. But when he finally managed to be a better archer than Arjuna, Drona asked him to sacrifice his thumb. And Eklavya being the true Indian that he was, gladly gave the sacrifice. So what if I can't shoot which has been my life long passion, I will gladly cut off my thumb and give it you as you totally rock Mr Drona!
Closer to earth, Gandhi didn't want Shaheed Bhagat Singh to be hanged but he kept quiet as he couldn't really do anything. See oh Angrez sahib I am being a good Indian. Remember it the next time I go on a hypocritical strike against your tyrannical rule! But it won't really be a strike as I am not doing anything to stop you from doing what you are doing. I am just appealing to your nature of being a good human being!

Quit India! But leave your western ideologies behind.

Long Time

Have been busy lately debating the philosophy of corruption and greed with myself. Will be posting my thoughts soon on the complicated entanglement of the human emotions and the human mind. Usually the mind thinks and the heart feels but very often the mind feels and the heart starts thinking. This is when the whirlpool starts churning. Watch this space!

The Alpha Male

In a jungle, the alpha male is the strongest of the lions. Its supposed to be the king of the jungle and the best amongst all other competitors. No wonder, the life expectation of the strongest lions is so short. As soon as it becomes the leader of the pack, a constant battle resumes to maintain the position for as long as possible. It is interesting to note that the alpha male is either banished or killed soon after it loses the crown. Is it otherwise with humans? I somehow feel it is worse with us.
Constant competition to prove ourselves has made us forget who we really are. If you think you're not good enough in something you strive and strive and strive to earn respect which should rightfully be yours. But is there any worth of this respect? I would rather not have to prove my material worth to earn this respect. I would be happy with the people who respect me for who I am and what I am. The state of my vulnerability and my ability to cope with the same shouldn't be a subject of public inspection or a judging criteria of my ability.

Problem In Heaven - IV (The Finale)

"I didn't understand my lord, what could be more paradoxical than life and death?"

"In fact Chitra, nothing could be more metaphorical than life and death. What makes a life complete is death. If there were no forecast of a closure in the future, no human would ever value his life. Death is just a waterhole for the body to rest and move forward to the next journey. Have you ever asked yourself what the purpose of a human life is? The purpose is to experience. The soul wants to experience everything that it can in the world. The human body is just a vessel that carries the soul around. Everything that happens to the human is because the soul wants to experience those things. Once it feels that it has gained the maximum that it can from the body, the soul leaves to find a new home for itself. The body dies of wear and tear and is awarded a place in heaven or hell on the basis of the assistance that it has provided its soul."

Chitragupta was fascinated but also appalled, "But lord this is so tragic, doesn't the body have any say in what it goes through? What if it doesn't want to experience something that the soul wants it to? Can't it say no?"

Brahma leaned forward, "If it says no, then the soul makes it take its own life and leaves the body. The humans have a fancy word for it, suicide. This is the final act in the play for the soul. Once its vessel takes its own life, it can never have another home again. It wanders in eternity in Yama's corridors until he finds some work for it to do. And the body is laid to rest for ever in our wineyards."

Brahma ran a hand through his beard, "So you see Chitra, death completes life. There won't be life if there were no death. In fact, life is meant to represent the combined experience that a human goes through during his earthly experience and later his experiences after the loss of his earthly form. Life includes death Chitra and so does Death include Life. They are one and the same, two sides of the same coin, metaphors to each other. There has to be a balance among yin and yang, right and wrong at all times. Just foresee this, if everything in this world were perfect, if there were no sorrow in this world, would anyone value happiness? If there were no grief, would anyone value mirth? If there were no death, would anyone value life? No son, for anyone to value something good it is necessary that he is exposed to something equally bad. That is why you see the change in our operations Chitra. Every once in a while we have to go through a cleaning mechanism or rather a corporate makeover. We gradually change our method of pitching and move more and more towards the practices adopted by Hell. Hell does the same too. It also starts pitching for people with higher CDS."

"When do we revert to our old practices then my lord?" Chitragupta thought he knew the answer but wanted the lord to confirm his worst suspicions.

Brahma got up and walked around the table and touched Chitra's shoulder, "Any metamorphosis is not complete till it completely transitions positives into negatives and vice-versa. This trend will not stop till Heaven, India becomes Hell, India and vice-versa."

Chitragupta dropped his head and slumped in his seat disappointed. Is this what i've worked for? To facilitate the transition of Heaven into Hell?

"Understand this Chitra that Heaven and Hell are just concepts that the common mind can't grasp. To function effectively, there cannot be only goodness or only wickedness. There should be an optimum mix of both. While today we are moving towards being a more materialistic organization, that is only to compensate for the various idealistic and moralistic population we have gathered over the years. For them to value their beliefs it is important that they are challenged. Similarly for Hell to function effectively, it should have an influx of people with high CDS. For over 4000 years we have functioned with the privilege of being the organisation that reaps the highest social profit, now its time to challenge those profits that we've accumulated. Its time to make the people realise the importance of being good. For anything to be complete, it is imperative that it runs the complete circle. Just like death does to life, Hell completes Heaven. And in this world of pradoxical metaphors where change is constant, is it any surprise that Heaven and Hell are changing places? After all, aren't Heaven and Hell more complementary than paradoxes too?"

The End? Please leave your comments...

Problem in Heaven - III

"A human is the most advanced species of life form ever created by the gods. It experiences happiness, grief, jealousy, greed and self doubt at a higher level that that experienced by other life forms. But what makes it unique are the various states of paradoxes it has the capability to live in. It can love with all its heart and hate with the same heart. Its as if there were two souls, one which fiercely cares and the other which hates bitterly. And these two souls work together seamlessly, transferring inventory from one to the other. It is amazing to see the creature struggle through each day, squeeze out every ounce of mirth from its life aimlessly. No, there is an aim to this unique creatures life. Death. The creature thinks that it puts off death by living each day. But it is actually dying and losing a bit of its soul each day till the time when there is no soul left to sustain life."

"Chitra, you amaze me by your acuity every time. But tell me one thing, how is it that the human sustains the capability to suffer through the above paradoxes?"

Chitragupta noticed the twinkle in the lords eyes and realised that he was being tested. "The primary emotion that a human feels is fear my lord. Fear of being not respected by the people that it considers important. It fears this more than death itself. This fear acts as the germination bed for other emotions, the basic driving force. It binds itself in the shackles of the rules prescribed by the society and doesn't want to break free from this bind. It finds itself in a strange position, not able to endure the shackles and also not ready to break the shackles. This leads to a desperation which strangely acts as the motivation for it to sustain the paradoxes"

The lord replied smiling, "Are you sure that the emotions that you mention are really paradoxes Chitra? Life and death, mirth and sorrow, greed and giving, love and hate. Aren't these emotions complementary than opposites? Just like you have a right and a left eye, two hands and legs. Are they paradoxes too? These emotions son are intrinsically materialistic. What you call paradoxes my dear are actually metaphors to each other. Do you realise Chitra that these emotions that a human experiences are different but are also the same? In want for a better phrase can't they be termed as paradoxical metaphors?"

(To be continued...)

Problem in Heaven - II

Brahma listened patiently as Chitragupta laid out the problem very animatedly and reinforced the gravity of the obvious problem with a couple of graphs. After the presentation was over, Brahma smiled at Chitragupta. His youthful exuberance evoked pleasant memories of the past when Heaven India was just about starting its operations. Brahma remembered the day they had landed their biggest client yet, Shree Krishna. A hunter had shot dead Krishna by mistake and Heaven India had won a surprisingly closely fought bit with Hell India. Apparently Krishna's CDC was equally exciting for both the corporations and this eventually lead to a radical makeover of the entire scoring process. Many specific factors taken into account for calculating the morality and ethics scores were tweaked to be more general and accommodating. This was the point when the slide started. Brahma also understood the importance of bagging Krishna and the dominoe effect of losing him to hell. The price of repercussions would have been too high against the option of compromising on morality. He still remembered the celebration across the region when Krishna took his first steps into Heaven's premises. Justifying the greater good was the moral they have been operating on since then. Even though there were arm chair critics who constantly ridiculed this, Brahma understood that this was the best considering the circumstances.

"Tell me Chitra why do you think there is a problem in the way we have been operating recently?"

"I am surprised that you're asking this my lord. The mission of Heaven Corp is to promote social well being and it is a well established fact that there is a direct relationship between CDS and the level of social well being in the region. Why, dont your remember the hassle that we had to face when we bagged the Mahatma? Did we not compromise on greed and morality so that we can up the morale of the earthlings? Ultimately we ended up doling out a huge amount for the Mahatma without the expected results. I feel quoting for low CDS earthlings goes against the basic premise with which Heaven India was built. It is unethical and unjust for the others who missed out earlier. Why was the CDS not compromised with while pitching for Bhagat Singh and Nathuram Ghodse? Ethics is like an arrow my lord. It runs a straight course and hits hard on the target. Even if it misses the target, it does so willingly without compromising on the direction of its travel."

Brahma leaned back in his chair and put his arms behind his head. "Ethics, dear boy, is a reflection of your perception. The exposure that you've had over your lifetime plays a huge role in defining your mental limits in either acceding to something or refuting it. You believe something to be unethical but in the end they are your own personal beliefs. Someone else might very well not perceive the same thing to be unethical. Then there are the idealistic beliefs. What should be done ideally is never what is done practically. There are difficulties in implementation beyond what an idealistic mind can provide for."

"But my lord," Chitragupta was surprised at the direction this conversation was taking. "Ethics is one of the only irrefutable laws in the world. It's either black or white as there is no scope for grey areas in ethics. Morality may provide freedom for thought and adaptation but ethics is like water. Transparent and soft but can pave its way through rocks because it is so strong that it cannot be swayed off course!"

"But remember Chitra that water takes the shape of the vessel that holds it. Even though I agree with your interpretation of ethics, I also believe that adapting is the only way forward for ethics if it is to survive. A single sliver of water is no match against a forest of rocks my boy. It manages to wet a few but dies in the end. It should be patient and wait for that thunderstorm to strike to gain strength."

"My lord, are you trying to say that you're helpless and would not be able to mend what is happening? If the gods lose all hope then how can the earthfolk sustain their faith!"

Brahma sighed and got up. He went to the window and was lost in contemplation, is Chitragupta really so naive or was he getting too old for the job?
"Gods are humans too Chitra. We are more human than you can ever realise. An earthling lives for a specified duration and tries to experience what we have been doing for the past 800 years. Tell me Chitra what makes a human a 'human'?"

(To be continued...)

Problem in Heaven - I

Chitragupta was worried. He was going through the business figures of the past few years and saw a depressing trend. He was at his wits end as to what to do. He called up his secretary and asked her to fix an appointment with Brahma, the Chairman and Managing Director. The CMD would be available at his house for an hour between 2-3 that afternoon. Chitragupta looked at his watch. It was 1:15. He locked his computer, picked up his jacket and started moving towards the exit. Chitragupta decided to walk the 40 minute distance and use the time to think.

Background
Chitragupta was the Chief Operating Officer (COO) at 'Heaven, India', a subsidiary of the multinational conglomerate Heaven Corp which had its headquarters in the Kingdom of Eden and operations spread across most of the countries in the world. Each subsidiary had unique culture and Standard Operating Procedures of its own. Recently, the Indian subsidiary was witnessing an increased influx of great businessmen and MBAs from some of the best business schools across the world. The expected effect was a more aggressive move towards corporatisation and professional management. Even Chitragupta, who was a loyal employee for the past 4000 years, was not spared by this wave of modernisation. He was also asked to undergo a crash course in business management at the newly established Heavenly Institute of Management, a brainwave of the eminenent educationist Sir Vikram Sarabhai. As

Chitragupta took a turn briskly he thought about the inaugrating speech by Mahatma Gandhi. "I have a dream that each and every Indian has a place in heaven and can live out his existence in peace here." Chitragupta shook his head sadly. What would the mahatma think if he knew that things were not quite progressing as per plan. He opened the gate and went up to the door. The door was opened within seconds and he was ushered to Brahmas office at the back. He always felt overwhelmed in this house. The ceiling was tall and you could see the planets rotating slowly around the house. Each wall was adorned with some of the greatest artworks of all time which were not released during the artists existence on Earth. He walked through the passage covered in petals which changed with the time of day. Morning, afternoon, evening, night. Now it was daffodils. The entire house was awash with a rare perfume that made you feel blissful and nostalgic at the same time. Chitragupta paused in front of the office for a moment before knocking. The door opened after a few seconds on its own accord and he walked into the most powerful office in India. Brahma was standing near the wall to ceiling window that had a moving view of the entire world which changed every few minutes. The lord was looking at the peaks of Himalayas at the moment. "Come in Chitragupta, make yourself comfortable." The lord never had to shout to make himself heard. Sometimes he didn't even have to speak. A look, a gesture was enough. Brahma stood near the window for a long time before the phone rang shattering his reverie. He walked slowly to the table and picked up the receiver. It was his secretary, confirming his appointments for the day.

Chitragupta used this oppurtunity to reflect on his problems. Recently, Heaven India had seen a paradoxical twist in the kind of people it attracted. To get a better idea of this, it is essential to understand the business model of Heaven. Heaven was a totally profit oriented company. Exactly five years before the death of an individual in India, a memo would be created and circulated among the different departments of heaven. This memo would originate from the seperate lead generation team headed by Yama. Greed, Morality, Ethics. These are the three departments and each had its own system of accounting. All the transactions of an individual that he/she did from birth till the last accounting period is automatically feeded into the huge database that heaven maintained. These transactions were then sorted amongst their nature and then sent to any of the applicable departments. Once the departments get the memo of an individual from Yama's team, they start preparing the final balance sheet of the individual. These are then sent back to Yama, who makes a consolidated statement of accounts and comes up with a cumulative death score (CDS). This CDS decides the amount that may be sanctioned as a maximum bid for that individual. Once Heaven wins the bid, the individual is absorbed into the organisation by a detailed indoctrination and training process. Whatever good the individual does in improving the social aspects of the kingdom is considered as profits.
The main competitor of Heaven is Hell, India. But normally both of them follow a symbiotic relationship while bidding for people. For example, if Heaven has sanctioned a lower bidding amount for an individual, Hell would have sanctioned a higher amount. So both the organisations know what kind of people they would get well in advance. Even though Heaven was a more profitable corporation, historically it has been observed that the Earthly per-capita income of the individuals in heaven is much lower than that of Hell. Brahma and Chitragupta took pride in that fact.
However, this was changing slowly during the past 10 years. Chitragupta had noticed that slowly, the per-capita income was improving and the average CDS scores were decreasing. This had led to a change in the demographics of the kingdom and maybe explained the slow rate of growth. Chitragupta was worried that if this trend continues, it may have serious repurcussions for not only the profits but also on the overall image of Heaven, India. But what had forced Chitragupta to call for this emergency meeting with Brahma was the alarming trend in bidding for individuals. It seemed as if Yama was actually sanctioning higher amounts for people with less CDS scores. Chitragupta was appalled at this proposition and wanted some answers.

Brahma replaced the receiver and took his seat behind the huge oak desk. He directed his piercing gaze towards Chitragupta and smiled.
"So my dear boy to what do I owe this surprise visit?"

(To be continued...The conversation)